ER Visit

Saturday was supposed to be a busy training day. I was looking forward to the exercise and even some writing.

What happened instead was a crash out and some wildly intrusive thoughts. Just redirecting my thoughts was a chore.

Late Saturday night, I set up a text with some warning signs to my surgeon.  I was concerned that the crash out would spiral. I scheduled that text to be sent the next morning.

Within minutes of receiving that text Sunday morning, she responded encouraging to go to the ER to be checked out.

If it was literally anyone else telling me that, I’d ignore that advice. But, I trust her implicitly.

So, I got up and starting getting dressed.  And that’s when my body decided to go haywire. 

A bit later I arrived at the ER at the hospital I work most frequently at. That was weird but fine.

The doctor that was on shift, I saw back in May. I was grateful for a familiar face.

Social Work came in and we talked about all the things. We came up with a good plan and resources for when I need the support while I continue to wait for my behavioral health appointments.

Then, we talked about my physical symptoms.  We got a CT scan and did some labs. Neither showed anything emergent. So, they gave me a med to help address some of the symptoms and I have a referral to a specialist. 

Why share this? It’s suicide prevention month.

• Reaching out before you are deep in a spiral is suicide prevention.
• Knowing and sharing your warning signs is suicide prevention.
• Listening to a person you trust is suicide prevention.
• Sometimes, you can’t control your thoughts. This weekend reminded me of that.
• But, you can make the small choices to stay.

The world is better because I didn’t listen to the lies my brain was telling me. The next few weeks are going to be amazing.  More on that later.