Disabled, And…

A few years ago, during Disabled Pride Month, I wrote a series on my socials.

There was one that I wanted to expand on.

Original Post:

I am disabled and sometimes I rest.

Being disabled is work. And for many, just living life from day to day is all they have energy for. I understand that amount of work. There are days that my body demands that I listen to it and adjust my life to accommodate the demands that come with CP, whether mental or physical.

For a long time, when I needed to rest, I would disappear into virtual worlds and other ways that damaged my mental, physical, and spiritual health. Those days are over.

What’s changed? These days, I live life for myself. Sure, I have people I care about that I include in my decision processes, but my joy, my passion, and my purpose take precedence. I’ve learned (the hard way) that if I’m not happy in the deepest parts of my soul… no other influences will make it better.

I have learned that in order to rest and live my best life, I need to listen to my body’s needs. But, I also need to keep pushing so I don’t ever go back to habits that nearly destroyed me.

“I have my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.”

Today’s version:

I am disabled and sometimes I rest.

Since that original post, my life has changed. I’m working 80 hours a pay period. My husband works from home and on a rotating schedule, so our schedules don’t always mesh. We are training with a personal trainer and slowly dialing in our nutrition. I am working with a physiatrist and other medical professionals to dial in my overall physical health. I work out mostly at home. We are officially empty nesters and planning on the next stage of our life together.

Rest is so much more important for me now. Working outside the house is so exhausting. Not physically, mind you. I work in an office environment on the computer/phone all day. Mentally and psychologically, I am drained at the end of the day.

Rest looks like a workout out, mindless television, games, and spending time with my husband, son, and friends. It also looks like taking a day off when I need it. It often looks like me melting into my recliner and forgetting the world outside my front door.

My priority is me, my husband, and our family. I know my limits, and I do my best to live within them because when I do… I can accomplish everything I want.