While I was in grade school until my freshman year of high school, I was an athlete. I ran track and played (poorly) baseball, volleyball, basketball, and handball. As I started high school and got involved in the church I found myself dropping those pursuits to build my faith. I would attend a congregation far away from my house, which meant on occasion a very long commute on foot, so I still was moving my body. By the time, I was in college and a newlywed, I rarely sought exercise because I wasn’t driving yet, so I walked everywhere.
I have struggled with my mental health throughout my life but in hindsight, even though I was depressed because I was always moving, I could cope (or at least fake it) enough not to be medicated in adolescence.
Finding strength and good mental health through exercise
It was many years later that I realized just how much of an impact exercise had on my mental health. In 2013, I reconnected with an old college roommate and she turned out to be the right person to help me through some really tough shit.
I was essentially a single mom while my husband was working out of state. The roommate would help with rides, talk through education options while the details were narrowed down by the department for some of my kids, and connected me with other moms. We would connect either in person or through texts.
One night, as I was talking about some struggles she brought up Krav and combated all of my reasons and excuses until I said yes to trying a class. Within a week, I was off to my very first Krav Maga fitness class. I loved it. And, I was surprised at how much my body was capable of.
Even though I was an athlete in my youth. I believed the lie that because I had cerebral palsy, I was incapable of learning/doing certain things.
Just over a year later, when we moved to New York, I found another Krav studio to train in. It was also incredible.
It wasn’t long until we were back in Idaho. Life intervened and I stopped physical exercise when I returned to school. Life does what life does and I was finding that I couldn’t fake it anymore. I needed to find some way to move my body or I would wind up in the hospital.
After some personal training to regain some balance and stability, I went in search of a new passion that would excite me like Krav Maga did.
I found ilovekickboxing on Facebook and went to check it out. That first class was hell, but my body craved more.
Kickboxing became my passion and ILKB was where I found my strength and abilities to be healthy in both body and mind. It was hard to modify and adjust almost everything I did there, but it was worth it.
I was introduced to Cyclebar through ILKB. I would ride my street bike to commute before I got my license. Spin bikes scared me. I believed the lies that I told myself. (You can’t do that!) But hey, a free class is a free class. So I tried it out.
That very first class was hard. I struggled to get my body to cooperate and use my leg muscles in that way again. But, something made me keep going back. Again and again and again. (Over 600 rides)
On a spin bike, I find my great equalizer. Once clipped into the pedals, I found that my hemiparesis and muscle inequities go away. I’m not the fastest in the room, you won’t find my name on a leaderboard, and I don’t look like I’m enjoying myself. And yet, for almost the entire time that I’m on the bike, my body meets my spirit and I feel complete.
A few months ago (August 2022), I was evicted from my local Cyclebar. There are no other cycling classes that I can go to because of my work schedule. So, after months of looking, I finally found a bike that both my husband and I can use at a local equipment store.
Clipping into the bike and riding feels like I’m coming home after a long trip. I can’t wait to do it again and again… and again.
Indomitable Bellatrix 