bblair426

Compliments

Yesterday was supposed to be a slow day. I try to leave Mondays pretty laid back so the kids can ease into the week. Instead, it was one thing after another, and I was not home for longer than 30 minutes until after my cycling class. And then, it was just one thing after anotherContinue reading “Compliments”

Mom of 2

We accepted a second placement of another little boy. He is 7. He has bounced around quite a bit before finding his way to our home. He’s been here for about 10 days. And, he fits. He has even said that: “He likes it here.” Our 6 year old seems to like having a siblingContinue reading “Mom of 2”

Never Ending Battle

Yesterday’s open call ride and the very expected result has me questioning myself today. This is not a new battle for me. Whenever I “fail” I stumble. I question. I self sabotage. I do my best to disappear from those that were witnesses to my “failure”. It is a pattern I’m working to change. ThisContinue reading “Never Ending Battle”

Open Call Ride

So today, I tried my hand at an open call audition ride to be a cycle instructor at my local Cyclebar. I did not get selected to move on. And, like I captioned above… I never expected to, So why bother? Because the thought scared me. And, I once dismissed the thought of being aContinue reading “Open Call Ride”

Job Hunt

In April I was set to start my dream job. Life intervened and we became parents instead. Months later and though parenthood is rewarding… I want more. So, I’m applying for jobs again. First attempt is to get my dream job back, and then if not… find a new dream job. I will be writingContinue reading “Job Hunt”

Parents and Children

My relationship with my parents is defined by my location. I live across the country 2,500 miles away from both of them. My mother has come to see me a handful of times. My father has yet to visit. They call occasionally, but I’ve always shouldered the burden/blessing of maintaining the relationship with my parents.Continue reading “Parents and Children”

Archive: Reasons to Stay (April 2020)

I get depressed. Deep darkness, can’t see a way through the pain and don’t want to live anymore kind of depressed. No, I do not take medication for it. I tried that but they made me not recognize any part of my personality. So, I found other coping mechanisms. Writing, Service, Church, Family, Friends, ReadingContinue reading “Archive: Reasons to Stay (April 2020)”

Dear Evan Hansen (a reflection)

Some background: I’ve never seen the play. I have the soundtrack practically memorized. I’ve battled depression and suicidal thoughts in my youth. So, I knew that I was going into a potential landmine field of triggers by watching this movie. I saw the movie this afternoon with my husband. After my last experience watching aContinue reading “Dear Evan Hansen (a reflection)”

Heaven and Hell

I’ve been home from my trip to New York since September 6th. I’ve spent the week processing the events. This is how I describe my trip. Heaven: Seeing my little sister. It’s been 6 years since we were in the same room and over 20 years since we got to spend any real quality timeContinue reading “Heaven and Hell”

Getting Ready for Travel

My grandfather passed away yesterday afternoon. He was watching a Yankees game and resting in his bed. He is at peace and out of pain, for that I am quite grateful. I have my airline ticket purchased… I’m staying a few extra days. My future brother in law is picking me up from the airport.Continue reading “Getting Ready for Travel”