I’m alive

I was at church today and I was going through the motions. It has been very difficult to compartmentalize all the feelings at church.

I can’t share everything that’s going on with everybody at church. There’s too much to share and it’s not just our story to tell. Plus, I honestly don’t know who I can trust besides our bishop.

So my answer to the question ” How are you ?” Is … “I’m alive.” Or, “you don’t want to know.” Because if I start talking about all the things going on… I might not be able to put myself back together.

Lest you think it’s all bad. It’s not! Whole areas of my life are very good. At church, I’m still trying to feel the spirit despite the uneasiness of worshipping with people that have said not kind things to me.