Light

My annual review went very well. I am still employed and I am on track to do all the things. And my work family continues to show up for me. I am blessed and extremely happy to know that these people care.

The situation with our last placement is far from over. But, I refuse to feel guilty. We did nothing wrong. Could things have been done differently? Sure. But, only if we had known what we know now. One thing that this experience has cemented in my mind and heart is that I am done. It’s not worth the heartache and frustration. As much as I want kids, I don’t have it in me to fight all sides anymore.

Knowing I’m done brings sadness but also light. Lightness in knowing that we aren’t responsible for another’s child and we don’t have any other appointments but our own. We are beholden to no one’s whims but ours. Will we always be done? Maybe, maybe not. But for now, the decision feels right.