Yesterday’s open call ride and the very expected result has me questioning myself today.
This is not a new battle for me. Whenever I “fail” I stumble. I question. I self sabotage. I do my best to disappear from those that were witnesses to my “failure”. It is a pattern I’m working to change.
This time, I’m taking the day off… and filling my mind/soul with things worth hearing and not the lies I used to believe.
I’m not going to let the experience of yesterday change the fact that the people I was riding with are my family. They showed up when others did not. They are the ones that remind me that I’m stronger than everyone else and I do hard hard things on the regular.
I’m not disappearing, though going back to the studio is going to feel different over the next week, It’s still my home and a sacred/special place. Yesterday’s ride doesn’t change that.
Indomitable Bellatrix 