I’ve been handwriting content for the other segments of this site for days now. Tonight, while my family was watching the fireworks, I stayed inside and starting to comb through files for my kickboxing section.
And then, I saw a pic from when I was new to kickboxing with 3 of my people from cyclebar. I knew they kickboxed before, but I didn’t know that they were in the building the same time I was. It was weird to see them in that context. I knew them before they were my family.
Another thing that has surprised me by this content prep is my chosen family. They are not who I thought they’d be. Today, I stayed home from church because I needed to let my muscles recover fully. 2 years ago (Pre-quarantine) that would have really bothered me. Yet, today… I was at peace with my decision. I found other ways to connect to my spirit and the people I connected to outside of my husband and kids were not church people but MY people. The people who see all of me and love/accept me anyway. They show me the way beyond my comfort zone to grow in ways I wasn’t expecting. And, when I have something to share, they are the ones I want to tell.
Before my ER visit a few months ago, I let go of a couple of relationships that weren’t working anymore. It was hard. When I let those go… I was free to ask for help from my friends. Asking for help… has quite literally changed my life. And, the connections that I have strengthened and created because of that leap out of my comfort zone has given me the courage to let that wall down to an all time low. I feel confident in the steps I’m taking both personally and for my family. I am so freaking happy that even when the days are hard, I smile.
Indomitable Bellatrix 