Background: During the summer of 2016, I was staying in Boise to deal with court hearings for my son who was on probation at the time. So, my husband was living in NY in a tiny basement apartment with no windows during the summer alone with our dog, Abe, I love him for doing that so one of us could be present for our son.
2016
Years ago when we first came to the ward that we called home in Boise, I was asked to give a talk on Father’s Day. It was a really hard talk for me to give at the time, but it was one of the most important talks I have ever prepared, because it made me realize just how many righteous examples of what a father is and does I have in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I have some pretty great memories of my father. He was for the most part a decent father to me growing up. He was also not there all the time and when I needed the really important things out of life, I did not turn to him.
One great lesson both my parents taught me was to rely on God. They also allowed me to embrace the gospel and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints fairly early in my life. These two components came together to introduce me to righteous men who had the authority from my Heavenly Father to bless me and influence my life in the best way possible. These men raised me in gospel truth in ways that my father could not. They encouraged me to seek spiritual resolutions and apply them to temporal problems. They taught me about what a husband is to his wife and how the wife should always be treated. They taught me how to look in the mirror and see myself how my Father in Heaven sees me. They taught through their examples the kind of man that I wanted for my husband. From the men at church I knew I wanted certain things:
1. A worthy man to take me to the temple. (Got it. Justin would often rearrange his work or school schedule to go to the temple while we were dating. Today, we go as often as circumstances allow.)
2. A man that served the Lord willingly. (Got it. Justin often goes out of his way to serve his home teaching families and others in our community, it is second nature to him.)
3. A man that treats me and other women with a great deal of respect. (Got it in spades. Justin is the first one to shut down any of the negative voices I have and will tell me however often I need to hear it just how special I am to him. I know he does the same for others as well.)
4. A man that would raise children using the spirit. (Got it. Justin often prays, ponders, and takes great care in how he communicates to our son and to the other children we had in our home.) — He still does this, see below!
5. Someone that would make me smile. (Got it. Justin makes me smile each and every day.)
I love you hunny. I am sorry I’m not there to tell you all this in person, but I love you all the more for allowing me to do things that are important and often pull us away from each other for long stretches at a time.
Today:
My husband built our 7 year old a bed to go with his mattress. We ate enchilada bake for dinner and enjoyed time at church together. Our son took the time to call twice. I got to talk to him once and then he called and Justin got to visit with him.
A few weeks ago, I took the kids to walmart. As we were going through the store, my 12 year old saw a shirt that she wanted to get for Justin, Then, the 7 year old picked out a card and we all picked out a shirt for him to wear to work. After opening the gifts, Justin immediately changed… it was a good day,
Indomitable Bellatrix 